Deseret News Article: Running saved Payson woman after accident stole her borther's life

To avoid my nonsense and skip straight to the News Article click here.

It caught me pretty off guard yesterday when Amy Donaldson with the Deseret News called me as I was lounging around my house still in my running clothes.  I had just finished running a lovely 7 miles along my typical loop on a crisp, cool, and very relaxing Sunday morning.  It was a good run - the birds were chirping, the weather was perfect, and it was quiet, tranquil almost.  It was one of those runs that really allowed me to think about Trevor and reflect.  It was a run I needed after a very difficult weekend.  My pace was leisurely and I even stopped to soak in the crisp air and take a picture of my surroundings. 

The weekend was very heavy emotionally for me and my family.  We laid my cousin Lieutenant Joshua Ryan Wall to rest.  It was a difficult day.  Josh was witty, intelligent, humble, and lived an amazing life of service for his country.  Many of his incredible qualities reminded me so much of my brother and it was an absolute honor to know Josh.  His funeral service was perfect and such an incredible tribute to the amazing life he lived and the impact he left on all of those who were lucky enough to know him.

With Saturday's events still weighing heavily on my mind it felt so right and so natural to share my story with Amy when she called.  It is overwhelming and scary to open up about such personal details in my journey of overcoming my little brothers death.  It is difficult to relive and tell the story of those moments, days, weeks, that I lost him.  Those moments that I lost a part of me!  But never have I  felt so right about sharing my story and letting it go public.  When you are interviewed by a reporter over the phone and sharing an incredibly raw, candid, and personal story it is hard to know if the words are coming out correctly.  But Amy did a phenomenal job of portraying my story perfectly:  Running saved Payson woman after accident stole her brother's life

I am really full of emotion as this story hits the local news shelves.  I barely slept a wink last night worried about how my words would come out on paper and if what I was saying would make sense and resonate with others.  Overwhelming feelings of anxiety, embarrassment and being undeserving of this type of publicity and recognition flooded me this morning.  However as I sit here typing now, still processing, and re-reading the article my worries have changed to triumph and thankfulness for the opportunity to share my story and to honor my brother's legacy.  My brother Trevor was unique, creative, loving, and nurturing.  He was one of a kind and too perfect for this earth.  His struggles with mental illness were indescribably difficult but he never complained.  He lived his life with love and always put others before himself.

May I remember my brothers incredible example and continue to move forward and accomplish my goals in his honor.  One step, one breathe, one moment at a time.         

Vacation....

Vacations are not at all about where you go or what you do and see. 

Vacations are all about whom you are with and what you make of your time together.  Memories do not cost anything to create.  Our little family vacation was so simple and full of all of the things I love most; family, love, and laughter!

A walk to the temple with my Mom and my Sister's family to celebrate Easter morning...

Swinging and playing at the park with my entire family, everyone together...

Running in a new place and slowing down and soaking in my surroundings...

Bowling with my entire family all together...

Going to a little discovery museum and playing, seeing, running around exploring, and enjoying...

Playing in the toy aisle at target for hours...

So simple

So perfect

Such a great reminder that the most important things in life are simply time spent together with the people you love most.  It has been a tough couple of weeks with the loss of loved ones in my family.  My oldest cousin, Lieutenant Joshua Wall of the United States Navy passing away completely unexpectedly and gone way too early.  My uncle Mark's brother Gary passing away tragically at such a young age and leaving behind a young family.

May these tragedies serve as a reminder to hold on a little tighter to the ones that you love most and never pass up an opportunity to spend time with family and friends.  Kids do not need elaborate vacations, expensive toys, or the latest gadget.  Kids and adults alike need attention, love, and time. 

Every. Single. Step.

Life and running are not all about time, setting a new PR, reaching goals, or getting to the finish line first but about our experiences along the way.  Once you cross that finish line, complete that big work project, make that "x" amount of dollars you've been striving for, ect, that chapter of your life might temporarily close but the book doesn't end and the journey continues.  We are always moving forward in life and running one step, one minute, one experience at a time.

Every single step counts and none of them should be taken for granted because there are experiences to be gained from every single step we take in life.  Every. single. step.

Last weekend I stepped off of a plane and into Phoenix Arizona and was greeted by some familiar smiling faces.

I requested a picture with my 4 inch high heels so I didn't look so short but clearly it's still not working for me.  Next time I'll pack the one foot high heels. ;)

I had the coolest opportunity and experience a person could possibly ask for when I set foot into Arizona.  I was fortunate enough to share steps and run with Emz for 18 miles of the Phoenix Marathon and I am so incredibly grateful for every single step. 

Every single step I shared with this girl was special to me, every single step!  Some steps were easy, some steps were hard, a lot of steps were excruciatingly painful but she kept moving forward one single step at a time.  When the steps in life and running become hard, impossible even we have a choice to make.  We can throw our hands in the air or we can keep moving forward one step at a time.  Every single step we take in life is an experience and forward progress if we allow it to be, every single step!

Emz was told by a doctor not to run, she was dealing with an injury, she started cramping at mile 15, she had every single reason to quit, to give up, even to drop and never step across the finish line.  No not her, not this women!  Not once did she consider stopping or using her injury to justify quitting instead she moved forward one single step at a time.  She persevered through every single step and finished with a PR of 3:17 and 2nd place in her age group.  The fact that she finished 14th overall and in the top 5% of the marathon is cool but what stands out to me is the way she fought for every single step.  What an incredibly strong women and what a great life lesson to be gained from her example.

I am thankful.  I am thankful for the opportunity I had to share this incredible experience with Emz and to share those steps with her.  To see and to feel her determination, her heart, her grit, her will to fight for every single step.  It was inspiring.  I am thankful for her for allowing me to share these steps with her.  For sharing her life with me, her home with me, her family with me.  Again grateful for the experiences running continues to bring to my life. 

What a great reminder to me to embrace all the steps in life.  There will be easy steps and there will always be hard steps.  It is not how we handle the easy steps in life but how we react to the hard steps that truly matters. We choose how we embrace and learn from the hard steps in life and  no matter what we must remember to keep moving forward and never take any of the steps for granted.  Life is a continuation not a destination and it is overcoming the hardest steps in life that define our character.

Make the most of every. single. step. 

If you are reading I would like to ask you an important question.  I am not sure who reads these shenanigans (Mom and sister I know you do) but if you are out there please respond.  I am speaking and presenting about healthy living at a women's conference next weekend and am wondering if you were attending what would you be most interested in hearing from me?

Running Connections

When I first started running I ran out of anger.  I was angry that I had lost my brother.  His sudden death did not seem fair, I did not understand and I missed him.  I was angry, and so I ran. 

Running was my punishment.  Trevor was at my house the night of his accident, he was driving my car when he crashed, he died while under my watch.  I had a lot of guilt and so I ran harder and faster to ease the pain.  Running connected me to Trevor, it was a way of purging my emotional pain into physical pain.  It was a release from reality, a time to be with my brother with no distractions, a time to reflect.  It helped me cope.  Running was always there for me, it was consistent, it did not criticize or judge me.  Running saved me.

What I did not realize when I started running is the connections I would make with others through this simple shared passion.  Running will forever connect me to my brother but running has also connected me to so many amazing people along the way.  My trip to Arizona for the IMS Arizona Half marathon was such a great reminder of the people I have been blessed to meet through running.  So many magical moments happened on that trip that I will never forget and it was such a great testifier of faith and confirmation to me that everything happens for a reason.

Running connected me to a women named Jill on my flight out to Phoenix.  We were placed next to each other on the airplane and we shared running in common.  Jill and I ended up talking the entire 90 minute flight and I know we would have talked for hours if we would have had more time.  Our connection started with running but Jill and I shared so much more in common, and the casual conversation became so much deeper.  We had very similar stories of how we started running.  She had suffered the loss of two brothers and pointed something out to me about my brothers death that I had never thought about or fully processed.  It was something I absolutely needed to hear, it was magical, it was so very inspired and being placed next to Jill on that flight was so meant to be.

Running connected me to my good friend Heather who picked me up at the airport, let me stay at her home, and showed me around Phoenix.  Heather is a special person, one of my very best friends, and we connected through running.

Running connected me to Heather's friend Nikki and her adorable family.  Through this shared passion of running Nikki and I hit it off instantly when we ran Napa Valley Ragnar together.  It was so fun to meet her new daughter, reconnect with her and go to dinner with her family the night before the race.

I failed to get a picture of Nikki but I did get a picture of her adorable kids Conner and Emmaline. :)

Running connected me to Emz.  This girl is simply amazing and words cannot even begin to describe how much I admire her.  I have always loved her blog but meeting her in person and having her cheer for me at the race was indescribable.  Another connection made through running that was 100% meant to be.

Running connected me to Michael and Jim.  Two people whose running journey's I've been following for over two years now and have always wanted to connect with in person.  They are both so inspirational to me and truly even more amazing people in person.  It was running that connected us and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to meet them.

As I reflect on my trip to Arizona I of course go back to that euphoric feeling of crossing the finish line and setting a huge half marathon PR.  Revelling in that magical moment was everything I ever dreamed it could be and I never want to forget it or take it for granted.  But what also stands out in my mind are the connections I made. 

I started running as a way to connect with my brother and through time it has connected me to so many incredible people who I would never have the opportunity to know if I wouldn't have taken that first step.

Running has saved me!

IMS Arizona Half Marathon Race Recap

Spoiler Alert:  Pretty big half marathon PR for me on an honest course.  I finished in 1:21:54 which was good enough for 3rd place female and 9th finisher overall.

I am going to basically copy this recap straight from my running blog in order to save me from repeating myself.  It was a really great day for me in Arizona on Sunday and above all I walk away from the experience feeling incredibly blessed and very thankful.  Thankful that I have a body that allows me to run.  Thankful that I have such an incredible support system.  Thankful that so many people believe in me.  Thankful that I believe in me.  Thankful that new and exciting opportunities lie ahead.  Thankful! 

I never want to take running for granted and I always want to remember why I started running.  Setting new PR's, getting faster, and achieving success is fun and exciting but running is so much more to me and I never want to forget that.  Now onto the recap.

I am still processing this race and trying to wrap my head around the idea that it actually happened. It's still a little surreal to me but let's get to the details.

Background: I signed up for this race in July because I saw a deal on fb for $40 for the full marathon. I called my friend Heather that lives in Phoenix to see if she was on board. She was and so I signed up and decided it would be the perfect time of year to get out of Utah. I didn't know much about the course or the race besides the fact it was a total no frills race and it was in Feb in AZ. I switched to the half marathon (smart decision) in January after battling some injuries after TOU.

Pre-race: I wanted to PR (1:28 on a flat course) but I also felt I was capable of 1:25 so that was the goal. My training had been different (more laid back) gearing up for this race than ever before but I knew I had worked hard and I felt ready.

Nutrition: Mostly noting this for myself for future reference. 3/4 plain bagel & a banana pre-race (55 grams carbs?), 20 ounces of Gatorade & 16 ounces of water. Gatorade at every aid station except the first and last (maybe 1oz total in my mouth at each station...plenty on the face) and a gel at mile 7.5. Oh and the 5-hour energy 10 min before the start!

Splits: 6:22 (slowest mile), 6:13, 6:11, 6:11, 6:14, 6:10, 6:11, 6:14, 6:20, 6:09, 6:16, 6:16, 6:12, 5:38 (50 seconds).

Elevation: 186 loss / 48 gain

Report: 1.8 mile warm-up with a few strides before wishing my friend Heather good luck and lining up at the start. There were a few girls that looked fast and a couple of people talking about going for sub-1:20. I was wondering what in the heck I was getting myself into but managed to stay incredibly calm. Staying calm is critically important to performing well in my opinion. I had looked at the course map a few times and some people I met on the bus ride up told me there was a hill at mile 7 and 12.5. I decided before the race I would run on effort and did not calculate goal splits. The race started and I managed to hang back and let people go. Little did I know that my first mile would be my slowest of the entire race! I started as 5th place female and eased into a comfortably hard pace. The first mile felt awkward and hard and it took me 3 miles to find a grove and feel like I was in control and not forcing my body. I was in 3rd place by mile 2. The weather for the race was perfect but there was an 8mph headwind that was annoying. It was not a big deal but just enough to be annoying. At mile 3 I caught up to a tall guy with bright pink socks (Steve) and did my best to draft off of him. I hit the 5k in a little over 19 min and decided at that point to not hold anything back. I was not really following my plan of 6:25 minute miles and realized I was risking blowing up but I wanted to take the risk. Why not? So I just went for it and continued to run off of effort. I hit the 10k in 39 minutes still tucked right behind pink socks friend. The effort was starting to get to me and I contemplated slowing down. As we came into an aid station and I caught back up to pink socks friend he mentioned that the female Arizona Ironman Champion was not too far ahead and then said "how cool would it be to catch her". Although I never actually saw her and had no idea how far ahead she was those words sparked some sort of fire in me and gave me just the boost I needed to fight and keep pushing the pace. Runners were very few and far between and besides me and pink socks friend Steve there was only one runner I could see ahead. We finally managed to catch white shirt guy at mile 9 and after seeing his back for 9 miles I was so excited to reel him in. He was very supportive and would end up working with me until the finish. The effort was getting harder but my splits were coming in consistently and I just continued to work as hard as I could. I hit mile 10 at 1:02:30 and thought about slowing down and just running a 5k in 22 minutes and still reaching my goal of 1:25 (moment of weakness). Or I could really see how tough I was and run a sub-20 last 5k! I wanted to see what I was capable of and I really fought for every step that last 5k. I had caught white shirt guy and stayed in between him and pink socks dude. Having these two to work with was incredible helpful. This was a small race with very little crowd support. My feet started bothering me at mile 11 and my calves were screaming at me but it felt good! This is what I work my butt off for; I train for these moments of complete pain when you are pushing yourself so far outside of what you ever thought you were capable of. This is what it is all about. I managed to stay focused and ran with my heart. I kept repeating in my head and out loud (poor white shirt guy) "run with your heart" "run with your heart". The little hill at mile 12.5 was not too bad (freeway overpass) and I powered up it and then flew into the finish with the biggest smile on my face. My friend Emily was cheering at the mile 13 mile marker and since my family wasn't at the race it was so great to see a familiar face. I was beaming from ear to ear as I crossed the finish line and was so incredibly happy!

Mile 13!  Yes I beat white shirt guy. ;)

Final kick to the finish.

After talking to the first & second place girls and my friend Emily I jogged back to mile 12.5 to run my friend Heather in. 1.2 mile cool down.

Heather, me & Emily after the race.  This picture really makes me look like a midget.

All Smiles!

Right after I crossed the finish line with the famous EMZ.  LOVE her!

Heather and I after the race.  So proud of this girl.  She is dealing with a hip injury and still finished in an awesome time of 1:52.  Now I just need to find a cheap flight back to Phoenix so I can watch her rock the Phoenix half on March 2nd!

Post-Race thoughts: Still processing a lot of this. I feel disappointed when people ask if I won and I have to respond that no I didn't win but I did run really well. Hard to explain to non-runners that winning was not the goal. I am so incredibly happy with the way I ran and at the end of the day I am only out there competing against myself. By far the coolest thing about it all is that I paced 6:15 for the race which is the Olympic Trials Qualifying pace. I want to keep working hard and make that dream a reality!

The race was perfect and everything I dreamed it could be but the trip to Phoenix was memorable for so many reasons more important than the race.  So many magical things happened and it is so crazy how people fall into your life for a reason.  I now this to be true and I cannot wait to post more about the trip in the next few days. 

Thanks for reading my shenanigans!

Hale Freezes Over 10K Recap

After a pretty long break from racing I jumped back in the saddle with my first race of the 2013 season over the weekend.  The Hale Freezes Over 10k/5k is such a laid back and fun race that has become a tradition for me and I look forward to it every year.  This was my third year participating in this event and the Hale Center Theatre continues to put on a great race.  You can read my recap from 2011 here and 2012 here.

This race for me was a building block in preparation for my upcoming half marathons.  I will be racing the IMS Arizona Half marathon in Phoenix, AZ this Sunday February 17th and the Dogtown Half marathon in St. George on February 23rd.  One of these races I will actually race and the other I will use as a marathon paced tempo (or just jog depending on how I feel) since they are so close together.  I clearly just need a break from the winter weather and planned both of these races solely in an attempt to escape to a warmer climate.

Now back to the 10k race.  As I already knew from running this race twice before the 10k course is hilly and tough.  The first half is downhill and the second half is uphill.  My main goal (besides not slipping, messing up my hairdo, or losing my lucky headband) was to run a consistent effort and not fall apart in the final miles.

Race Start

Mother nature so kindly blessed us with yet another snowstorm Friday night making conditions for the race a little bit less than ideal.  I had a few people ask me if they would cancel the race because of the weather and I just had to laugh and remind them of the name of the race.  Conditions were truly living up to the name this year!  The roads were icy, snowy, and slick....so pretty much exactly what I've become accustomed to training in this winter.  Sadly we've had a pretty bad winter in Utah and running in these types of conditions has actually become quite normal.  After the race director announced over the mega phone "Don't try to run your fastest race today" the gun shot and we were off.  My splits for the race were 6:05, 6:12, 6:10, 6:30, 6:44, 6:20.  The 10K course is short and my garmin measure 6.04 miles for a time of 38:10/6:20 pace.  Although my splits are inconsistent I feel that I ran a very even effort and held it together incredibly well throughout the hilly miles.  Most importantly I did not fall and my headband was still perfectly intact at the finish.  Weather aside I really enjoyed diving back into the racing scene and had an absolute blast!  Here are some pictures from the day. 

My time was good enough for 2nd place female and 5th overall.

Me and my friend and training partner Jen who took 1st in the 5K.  Love this girl and am so lucky to have her to train with. 

My friend Carla and I after the race.

My freaking awesome parents even came out and froze they're tushies off waiting for me to finish.  I love them!

As much as I love improving my times and running well I think my favorite thing about racing is meeting new and aspiring runners and spending time with people that share the same passion.  It was a great day and I am really looking forward to what 2013 has in store for me. 

Embrace Healthy Living: Overcoming Seasonal Affective Disorder

I am very excited about an upcoming opportunity to present at the Kanab Women's Forum on March 16th.  Me and my friend Carla will be speaking on embracing healthy living through positive life changes.  Click on the link for more information and to attend the conference.  Michael McLean is the keynote speaker at the event and I cannot wait to meet him and hear him speak.

Since I have been asked to present on embracing healthy living I've been thinking a lot about how I can be a better advocate and live a healthy and balanced life.  It has been freezing this winter in Utah and from what I've been following on the news it has been colder than normal all over the United States.



Yes this is real.  Taken from right outside my house last weekend.

This time of year can be incredibly depressing and more than ever I think several people are suffering from seasonal affective disorder. Between the freezing temperatures and the inversion in Utah I've found I have to work a little bit harder to stay positive, happy, motivated and healthy.  Being stuck indoors, not seeing the sun or sky for days in a row, and trying to breathe with the inversion can become overwhelming, frustrating, and honestly kind of miserable!

Here are 10 things I've found beneficial in helping me wane off seasonal affective disorder and embrace healthy living.

1.  Healthy eating.  I am absolutely no perfectionist when it comes to nutrition and definitely believe in balance in all things.  But what I do know is that when I eat better I feel better.  Eating too much junk just makes me feel like a big piece of junk and leads to sadness.  I've been making a conscious effort to eat extra fruits, vegetables and high-quality protein.

I give HRG a run for her money I think with my salad making skills. :)

2.  Smile.  Never underestimate the power of a smile.  How many times have you been having a terrible day and someone simply smiles at you and it completely turns it around?  Smiling is truly contagious and such a simple way to beat the blues!

My Niece Vara's smile warms my heart ever single time.

3.  Plan indoor activities.  I have been trying really hard to plan at least one or two fun indoor activity each week.  Last week I took my nephew to a movie and this week my entire family went to the circus.  There are fun things to do indoors but sometimes it just takes a little more planning, research, and creativity. 

4.  Weekend Getaways.  Last weekend I was able to drive three hours south and pace the St. George Half Marathon.  It was a quick trip and the weather was in the 50's!  48 hours in the sunshine was just what I needed and I came back reinvigorated, happy, and with a new sense of motivation.

So fun to meet my Daily Mile friend Eileen at this race.

5.  Exercise.  One of the best way to stay motivated during the winter months is signing up for a race.  I signed up for the IMS Arizona Marathon clear back in July and knowing I have this race coming up has really helped keep me on track.  Starting each day with a run makes facing the cold so much easier for some reason.

6.  Shopping.  Yes I am addicted to shopping and seeing a clearance rack with an extra 40% off coupon is incredibly euphoric to me.  Almost as great as crossing a finish line at a race...almost!  It might not be shopping for you, but re-explore a favorite hobby that you have been neglecting.  Not that I ever neglect shopping but you get my point right?

My Mom surprised me with this new outfit this week.  We may or may not both be failing with our resolutions to shop less in 2013.

7.  Random acts of kindness.  It is simply amazing to me how great it makes me feel to help and appreciate others.  I've made it a personal goal to write at least two Thank you cards a week to friends and family and doing this has brought me so much joy.  It just feels so good to focus on others instead of myself.

8.  Spend less time alone.  I live alone and during the winter it is easy to get stuck in a rut of vegging out in front of the TV at night.  As fun as this sounds it is a major trigger of depression for me so I have tried to surround myself with others.  I love living alone but being with people makes me happy! 

LOVE spending time with these kiddos.

9.  Planning vacations.  I have a couple of upcoming vacations planned for 2013 and having these to look forward to and plan has really helped my mood.  Having something fun to look forward to no matter what it is has really helped me stay focused and happy!

I am heading to Minnesota to see this girl in May and I absolutely cannot wait!

10.  Fuzzy socks, hot chocolate, snuggles, and fleece pants!  It really is the simple things like wearing fuzzy socks under my boots to work and snuggling up with my nephew that help me keep me sane when the weather outside is insane!

Any tips you would add to my list?

I think the bottom line is that it all comes down to attitude.  Our minds truly are powerful tools and if we stay positive and focus on the good rather than the bad we will all survive this chaos together right? :)  Have a great weekend everyone!